How banks open accounts for wealthy clients

We imagine it like this. A wealthy guy walks into a bank. “Ever seen this much money, boys? Come on, move it! I want an account, service and comfort.” And everybody starts running around immediately.

Reality. Our rich guy is met by someone from compliance. “So, how exactly did you make this money, sir? Does the company have a website? Hmm, I don’t know, something doesn’t add up here. What is it you actually do? Do you have contracts with customers? Okay. Completion certificates? Taxes paid? All of them? Are you sure? Where do you live? What do you eat for breakfast? Got a CV? Detailed? Well, make it more detailed, please. Better start from birth. Your great-grandmother’s birth. Hmm… all right then.”

Two weeks later.

“Nope, we won’t open the account. Bank policy.”

At that point you really want to ask, “F#$@!*?, dude, who the hell are you anyway?!”

AML/KYC is a good thing, obviously. Saves the world. But sometimes, I think, it’s a bit too much. Especially in recent years if you hold a Russian passport.